I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I know her cup size but not her name....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize