im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
