I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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