oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
