The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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