How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
