i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
