haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
