For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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