we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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