Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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