well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
