i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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