I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize