So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize