but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
