Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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