question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
