I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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