Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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