Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
