Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm getting married
To pizza
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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