I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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