we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just high enough for therapy.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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