Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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