I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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