I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
