I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
