it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you had me at cake vodka
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
