Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
