If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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