I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
