And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
