So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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