if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
