just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize