Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
