guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I bet he comes in French.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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