Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize