Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i barfeds in our rink
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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