so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
