I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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