ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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