Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
