I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
