yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
