just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just high enough for therapy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
