The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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