In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
