Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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