All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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