so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
