I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
