I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
