when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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