so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
