And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
