Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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