Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she told me i tasted like america
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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