Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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