Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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