no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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