I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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